Afternoon Delight

In the Bliss family, the motto has always been, "Call the police first, ask questions later." I have two stories to share.

One evening a few months back while I was visiting my parents there was a full moon. It seems that every time there is a full moon a Native American man, who I assume lives in the area, goes over to the neighborhood park and plays his drum until late at night. It is a residential neighborhood and after about 10:00 pm it gets rather annoying hearing the boom, boom, boom. I respect his right to celebrate his beliefs however he chooses, but there are plenty of nature preserves and remote desert spaces far away from people trying to get some sleep for that. So my dad called the police, and the first thing out of his mouth to the dispatcher was, "The last of the Mohicans is banging his drum too loudly over in Butler Park." The dispatcher had to control her laughter before getting the rest of my dad's statement.

Wednesday, while my sister and I were doing a workout in the same park, we noticed a couple over in the opposite corner getting a little too friendly. It started as a make-out session, but after our next set of sprints we noticed that they had moved on to the ground. Keep in mind it was 3:30, on a Wednesday, in broad daylight, less than 100 yards from a playground full of kiddos. Completely horrified, my sister stops our workout to run home to call the cops. She walks in to my parents house, out of breath, and calmly asks for the non-emergency number for the police. Her first words to the dispatcher were, "Hi, I would like to report a couple fornicating in Butler Park." After the laughter from the dispatcher subsided, she asked my sister, "Why are you out of breath?" Carolyn gave her the rest of the information and hung up.

We had a little left in our workout so we started walking back over to the park. By the time we were rounding the corner, a Chevy Tahoe (Ta-HOE, fitting isn't it?) police car was jumping the curb and driving straight through the park directly at the couple. The couple didn't notice until the car was about 15 feet away, and we watched the guy literally dive off the girl and try to crawl away. Once homeboy had pulled his pants back up, the officers separated them and asked for their IDs and I am assume asked them why they thought this location was an appropriate choice for mid-day canoodling.

I think we should find anoher park to hang out in.