Nature

Today, like most days, I took Barney for a walk through our neighborhood. But this wasn't like most days. Something funky was going on in the animal kingdom.

Barney loves trying to chase the squirrels but never gets close enough because he's always on a leash. Most of the time, the squirrels either stop in their tracks when they see him or turn around and run the other way up a tree or fence. One of the squirrels we encountered today was a little more ballsy. Instead of running away when Barney lunged at him, he ran towards us. He sprinted towards us. As if his life depended on it.

Upon seeing this I panicked. Heart started racing, mind started spinning. All I could think about was the thought of this squirrel attacking me. No, not logical at all. But when a crazed rodent runs right at you, what else are you supposed to think?

So here I am. Dog on a leash. Squirrel running at me. I jump as high as I have ever jumped before to get out of the path of psycho squirrel and as soon as I safely land on the ground I have to jump again because now I have psycho golden retriever running between my legs to try to get his rodent nemesis. I don't know how, but I did not end up on my face or with a broken ankle. I was able to regain control of the dog and get the heck out of there before our furry friend reappeared.

Ten minutes later, my heart rate back to normal, I turn the corner to start heading home. In the middle of the street is the largest bird/hawk/velociraptor I have ever seen outside of a zoo. It seriously looked at least a hundred pounds. Definitely bigger than Barney. Of course my dog tries to lunge towards it, which only makes the beast angry. It spreads its wings and puffs out its chest and I am frozen in place. It is still about 20 feet away, but that is too close for comfort for someone who panics when pigeons even look like they might be heading her way.

So here I am frozen mid-stride, holding on to the dog and waiting to see what this beast is going to do next. After about a 30 second stand off, a car drives around the corner and startles the bird. It takes flight. I dive for cover. Barney tries to go after it.

When I looked up again it has perched on the roof of the house across the street from where I am standing and it remains there with its wings outstretched, trying to intimidate us. Well, it worked. I couldn't get out of there fast enough and happily returned to the safety of our house.

I can't decide if I am willing to risk the chance of more animal encounters of the freakish kind for tomorrow. Sorry Barney, mommy can only handle so much.